Game of Thrones: A Song of Ice and Fire

***SPOILER ALERT***  this post will contain some spoilers so beware.

This past Sunday saw what is perhaps the greatest episode of Game of Thrones (GoT) ever. Fans, myself included, were worried about the events that might take place this season because the show has now extended beyond the books George R.R. Martin has published. Thankfully Martin gave show runners D.B. Weiss and and David Benioff the highlights of his next book The Winds of Winter which as of yet still has no publication date. (I am content to wait forever for the books to publish if that means he will stop killing Starks and direwolves!)

This review will mostly deal with Season 6 of the show, if you are not caught up I would suggest reading no further.

Okay are they gone?

Good.

This season saw and incredible amount of Women Getting Shit Done™. Let's start off with my favorite family the Starks. Last season saw Sansa Stark married to the monster Ramsey Bolton and her being raped and abused. This season with the help of Theon Greyjoy. Brienne of Tarth, and Podrick Payne she has reunited with her brother Jon Snow and the Wall. Jon had it pretty rough last season, not only did he witness the cruelty, destruction and horror the White Walkers are capable of at Hardhome, he also was murdered by his brothers of the Night's Watch at the Wall. Jon remained dead (and naked, thanks HBO) for the first two episodes before he was brought back by the Red Woman, Melissandre of Asshai. (Seriously who was surprised? There have been theories of Jon Snow's resurrection since A Dance with Dragons was published in 2011.) Since Jon has served the Night's Watch until his death (technicality) he steps down for the position of Lord Commander after he sees his tratiorus brother's hung.

Jon is then reunited with Sansa (the Stark Reunion gave me life) and they then plan to take Winterfell back from Ramsey Bolton with the help of the Free Folk (Wildlings), and whatever Northern houses they can rally to their cause.

They receive help from Lyanna Mormont of Bear Island and 62 men. Lyanna Mormont wowed us last season when the eight year old told Stannis Baratheon "Bear Island knows no King but the King in the North, whose name is Stark" via a message by raven. She absolutly lived up to her reputation. This little girl has more mettle than any grown ass man in this show. Even with the few houses Sansa and Jon rally to their cause, several remain loyal to House Bolton out of fear (cause Ramsey is bat shit crazy). They find themselves still outnumbered, and Sansa in her desperation calls on Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish, and the Knights of the Vale for help. This lead me and Caitie screaming at the TV about how only an idiot trusts Littlefinger.

When it comes time to face Ramsey on the battlefield, Rickon Stark is "given a chance" to reach his brother Jon, but of course Ramsey kills him (I kept yelling "SERPENTINE! SERPENTINE!" while he was running. In. A. Straight. Line. Then when Ramsey killed him Caitie was weeping and I was yelling "I WANT HIM DEAD. I WANT HIS FAMILY DEAD AND HIS HOUSE BURNT TO THE GROUND" about Ramsey). The Battle of the Bastards for the title of King in the North rages, Ramsey seems to have the upper hand, Caitie and I are biting our nails in anticipation, waiting to see if Jon can really win. When it begins to look grim, like our heroes will fail, which in this show would be no surprise they were going to once again crush my dreams and ruin my life (Season 3 Episode 9 I'm looking at you), the Knights of the Vale ride in to save the day. But at what cost? We find out the next episode when Littlefinger tells Sansa he wishes to marry her and take the Iron Throne for himself. Sansa shuts him down, reminding me why I love her and that she isn't a total idiot for asking Baelish for help. because she will never trust the backstabbing bastard again. Then thanks to the mettle of Lyanna Mormont, Jon Snow is named King in the North and all the Northern houses pledge allegiance to House Stark once again, as Sansa smiles, pleased with the outcome until she notices Baelish studying her carefully, having tried to turn Sansa against her bastard half-brother.

Speaking of bastards, the finale saw Bran Stark using his greensight to see the Tower of Joy, which has been an event much debated in the fandom shrouded in mystery and the suspected place of Jon Snow's birth. It is where Lyanna Stark was kept after she was taken by Rhaegar Targaryen that began Robert's Rebellion. We saw a glimpse of this earlier in the season, Bran saw his father Ned Stark and co there fighting two prominent member's of the Kingsguard. Ned's allies all die except for himself and Howland Reed. We learn the noble Eddard Stark lied about what happened during the fight at the Tower of Joy, which leads us to the question what else has he lied about. The confirmation of R+L=J is within sight, you can almost taste it, then Bran is pulled from his vision by the Three Eyed Raven (cock tease). Bran uses his greensight to learn more about the White Walkers, that they were created by the Children of the Forest to protect their weirwood trees from being cut down by men. Bran also disobeys the Three Eyed Raven and goes greenseeing alone and meets the dreaded Night's King. Only the Night's King can see him, he gives Bran a mark that allows the White Walkers' Army to breech the safety of the Three Eyed Raven's secret hideout. A huge fight goes down, the Three Eyed Raven died, the Children of the Forest die, Summer, Bran's direwolf dies (HOW DARE THEY) to show that "summer is truly over and winter is here". Hodor dies because Bran is stuck in a greensight vision of when Hodor was young and Meera Reed screaming "hold the door" leeks thorough, young Hodor (whose name is really Wylis) has a seizure and repeatedly screams "hold the door" until it becomes shortened to Hodor. Hodor then dies holding the door so Meera and Bran can escape. (Sob).

But not for long. The wrights of the White Walkers find them and they are rescued by a mysterious black rider who is supposed to be Coldhands from the books but is Benjen Stark who was resurrected from the dead by the Children of the Forest to fight the White Walkers. Benjen takes Bran and Meera to the weirwood tree just north of the Wall, as he is dead and cannot pass through the Wall. Bran uses his greensight again (seriously get south of the Wall kids!) and were are taken back to the Tower of Joy (never mind, stay in danger I need to see this!). Ned runs up the stairs following Lyanna's agonizing screams to see her dying in a bed of blood (I'm hyperventilating and praying at this point). Ned goes to her, yells for the handmaidens in the room to get her water, but Lyanna refuses she then leans into Ned's ear and whispers "His name is -inaudible-. If Robert finds out, he'll kill him. You know he will. You have to protect him. Promise me Ned. Promise me" (I'm screaming in a deep demonic voice "I KNEW IT"). Ned is handed a baby and Lyanna dies, Bran watched all this in confused surprise. R+L=J, and before all you naysayers tell me "but they only confirmed Lyanna is Jon's mother and Rhaegar is not Jon's father take a gander at what HBO put on their blog:

R+L=J bitches!

Onward to events going on across the Narrow Sea with Daenerys Targaryen. Last season she was kidnapped by the Dothraki and taken to Vaes Dorthrak to decided if she is to become a dosh khaleen. During the meeting of the leaders of several khalasars about her fate Dany burns the patriarchy to the ground! Leaves the burning building unharmed and wins the absolute loyalty of all the Dorthraki in one fell swoop. She names her entire khalasar her Bloodriders instead of just three as is tradition. Now with her stronger numbers Dany is able to retake Meereen from the Sons of the Harpy and the Masters, also freeing Yunkai and Astapor. Theon Greyjoy and his sister Asha Yara arrive in Meereen to offer their ships and allegiance to Dany. Dany and Yara flirt a bit and they become allies.  Varys the Spider goes to Dorne and convinces the Martells and Tyrells to join their cause and the finale sees Dany sailing to Westeros from the newly named Bay of Dragons (formerly Slavers Bay) with her new Hand of the Queen Tyrion Lannister surrounded by an armada of Greyjoys, Tyrells, Martells, Dorthraki, the Unsullied, and of course her three dragons, Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal.

In King's Landing things aren't so great. Cersei has lost power thanks to the alliance of the Crown and the Faith. Tommen and Margaery have fallen under the spell of the High Sparrow and Faith Militant. Though we find out Margaery is faking it to save her brother Loras. She sends her grandmother Olenna away to save her from the High Sparrow's grasp, only to fall into Cersei's trap. Cersei has stocked a large cache of wildfire under the Great Sept of Baelor. Blowing it up and killing all inside and for several blocks, Margaery, Loras, the Tyrells (minus Olenna), and the High Sparrow and his followers to name a few. Tommen in his despair leaps from his window to his death. Leaving Cersei alone and childless. She then takes the Iron Throne for herself becoming the Mad Queen.

Olenna travels to Dorne to meet with House Martell, well the ladies and Sand portion of it mostly. Olenna slays and Varys appears, and bada bing, bada boom, alliance time.

There was some stuff going on in the Iron Islands with the Kingsmoot, basically Theon supports Yara to become the Queen of the Iron Islands, but their Uncle Euron, who killed their father takes the throne and they flee to Meereen to side with the Dragon Queen.

Now to the Stark I left out, Arya. She has had a hell of a ride this past season. She joined the Faceless Men, she flunked out, rejoined and the left like a BAMF. She learns to see things from another perspective when she goes blind, becomes another person using the faces, and studies a acting troop who's play is about the events in earlier seasons, sympathetic towards the Lannisters. Arya finds herself and decides to return home to Westeros, except the Waif has been charged to kill her. Instead Arya kills her and adds her bloody face to the Faceless Men's trove. Then Arya mic drops and leaves.

When she arrives in Westeros we catch up with her at Twins, the home of House Frey. Where Jaime and Bronn have been most of the season helping the Frey's take back Riverrun from the Blackfish. Arya, in disguise, murders two of Walder Frey's sons and bakes them in a meat pie, then slits Walder's throat.

It's a beautiful day in Westeros. This season has given me hope. A dangerous amount considering the past horrors this show has afflicted us with. Ned's death, The Red Wedding, Sansa's marriage to Ramsey to name a few. But after watching the finale and having my beloved fan theory of R+L=J confirmed I believe again.

I'm excited to see what happens next season, with Dany coming to ruin Cersei's day and take back the Iron Throne, Jon technically being the rightful Targaryen heir to the Iron Throne, and the impending war with the White Walkers. With just two seasons left according to the show runners I don't know how I'm going to survive the next ten months until season 7.

UPDATE 7/10/2016: 

Game of Thrones Season 7 has been pushed back George R.R. Martin style. I am now super grumpy about it, however so long as the next season is a quality season like this past one was I will forgive them their transgressions.